Sex anyone ?

Chat over coffee has to be one of my favorite pastimes. Not having it anywhere lavish, just a normal coffee shop as your backdrop SHOULD be able to do the trick, unless trying to fake a class which is not even there in the first place is more like your cup of tea la.

Anyway, one of my best girl friends Tiff, has a friend. Lets just call this friend of her's A. The first time Tiff complained to me how A is so blur when it comes to adults stuff, I didn't quite believe her. That is until one night, I got the chance to actually sit down and have a chat with A.

She's the typical goodie two shoes kinda female species. Well, a tad too decent I must say. But she seems to be very curious and oh-so-interested when our chats touched on the SEX issue. So she started to ask me lotsa questions. Her first question gave me an idea that its gonna be a long, long night. Oh well, not that long, but still.

A : So so, if a guy wears a tight jeans, when he gets excited, does his 'that thing' points forward ?
Me: Ummmmmm (startled), Ummmmmmm (thinking of something smart), well, depends on how he positions his 'that thing' la (YES!!! Good answer!!!!)

A : Oh! Really ?? You mean they have different positions for 'that thing' ?
Me : (Bashing myself up in the mind). Yeah! Of course! Some like to position it upwards, some sideways, some downwards, some even between their thighs.

A : Oh wow! So when they get excited, does it point forward ?
Me : (Really bashing myself mentally now and a lill tired of explaining) Yeah! They point
forward!

A : How does it feel like giving a (showing the action of giving a head) ?
Me : Ummmm, its like eating bananas, but without chewing on the meat.

A : What if I choke ?
Me : Well, it takes a lot of practicing to master the skill.

A : How ?
Me : (Put me on the race track, I can run faster than Ben Johnson now) You give blowjobs more
often la! Or you could go home and practice on a banana first, starting with the smallest one.
Once you can get more than half of it down your throat, then you should proceed to a longer
and bigger one.

A : Wow! That's interesting!
Me : Yeah, uh huh (faking a smile).

Tiff is another problem. This girl misleads more than she coaches, though she loves Coach bags (lame, hehehe).

A : I think I would be too shy to do it with the lights on.
Tiff : Then you switch the light off la.

A : But, then, wouldn't it be too dark ? What if he can't find it ?
Tiff : (With the straightest face) Thats when a torchlight comes in handy (trying very hard not to laugh)

A : Really ?
Tiff : Yeah, get the China made dynamo torchlights, at least you won't waste money on replacing batteries.

A : Oh okay. So so, if a guy wants to go down on me, I fear that he would smell something fishy.
Tiff : Just spray it with perfume la! (My soul giggled to the point of teary eyed now)

A : Really ??? So what kind of perfume would be appealing to him ? (I could die laughing if she
asks again)
Tiff : Haiya! Use CK1 la, since its a unisex fragrance (turning her head away, laughing quietly and
discreetly.

A : Really ?? Cool !!

Me and Tiff are exchanging silent laughs by now. I kept shaking my head in disbelief and looking at me, Tiff gave me the expression 'see, I told you'.

But till today, I must admit I have never come across anybody as 'virgin' as this. Now I know, the very very rare species like A, do exists in this lifetime. Today, whenever we talk about A, we will always, without fail gonna have a good laugh over the silliest things happened previously. We even contemplated to give her free sex advice one of these days. Oh well, wish me luck people!